Emotional Preparedness

Are You Dating An Emotionally Unavailable Man?

He does things for his own good

Harmonious relationships happen when two people are able to meet each other’s needs and wants. There should always be a respectful agreement between two people in order for it to work.

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Otherwise, if a certain decision favors one more than the other, this causes an imbalance which can greatly affect how the relationship grows.

Such is the case when one person is emotionally unavailable. He tends to think more of what he can get out of a certain situation before agreeing to it.

Since emotionally unavailable people tend to lack the ability to see things from someone else’s perspective, most decisions made with them might be more in their favor than another’s, or even from a mutually beneficial perspective.

Is he a perfectionist, or is he emotionally unavailable?

While this in itself is not really a “one-size-fits-all” method of identifying an emotionally unavailable man, it can often be a contributory factor. Perfectionism can mean something really positive.

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Being associated with this quality makes people see you as goal driven, successful and passionate. But perfectionism, as we are looking at it, in this case, isn’t really a positive attribute. It becomes a validating force for one to cut people from their lives. They tend to look for the little imperfections and build up a reason for them to stop considering a particular person as a part of their lives.

Knowing what you really want and having standards are not bad, but at the end of the day, it’s always a good thing to slow down and try to think of what really matters to you in a relationship. If his circle of friends is small, say 2 or 3, and other people don’t make it into that circle because they fall short in some area, this may be a sign of his being emotionally unavailable. This may be a strategy subconsciously employed to reduce emotional exposure.

He keeps making excuses

Relationships are about being there for each other. It is about finding time for your significant other and making sure that they feel your presence and concern for them. A person who is ready to commit with you will do everything that they can to improve your relationship and make you happy, as much as they would for themselves.

A person who keeps making excuses on why they can’t be there when you need them is a sign that that person may be emotionally unavailable. Some may say that they are busy and can’t be there for their partner which can be a valid reason. But if it becomes a habit that they keep skipping your time together, then you may have a problem in keeping a deep connection with them.

He brags a lot about his accomplishments

Does he talk about himself too much during your dates? Is he constantly trying to make you compliment him by telling you stories about how well he handled past situations? If you are constantly asking yourself how you can insert a topic that isn’t about him in the conversation, then you had better think about your reasons for continuing to date him.

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A self-centered person may be hard to be with as it’s a sign of underlying insecurity and instability.

Emotionally balanced people are able to listen to their partner and do not need validation in order to feel confident about themselves. They know and are able to recognize the good that they have done without a constant need for validation, but they also accept whatever flaws they have.

Falling for someone can be a scary thing, but with the right person, it can be the best thing to ever happen to anyone. If you feel like the person you’ve fallen for exhibits signs of being emotionally unavailable, then it’s best to talk to them and let them know about how you feel.

About the author

Kim Gronno