Going Through the Stages of Grief After a Breakup

Grief and separation are some of the most painful ordeals that anyone could go through. When you love someone, you open up your soul and let them into your heart. You become vulnerable, and you can tend not think about the consequences, or what might happen in the event that things don’t work out. Your significant other can easily become a key part of your every day, and in this ever-changing world, having someone who is constantly there gives us a feeling of safety and assurance. It feels good, and that’s what makes you do it.

But when everything stops, and you start realizing that he won’t be there anymore; no more morning kisses or late night laughter, no more inside jokes and senseless conversations, you start feeling as if a void has been created inside your chest.

It’s hard to move forward when you have lost love. To lose something that once made you happy is an unbelievably painful experience. Even though each person, relationship and the reason for the breakup are unique, it is important to know that other people have been through it as well, and that there are many ways in overcoming heartbreak. Here are some of the things that you might experience as you go through a heartbreak. These can happen all at once, or at different times.


When working through Grief and separation you will move through a stage of denial. Suddenly you can’t believe it, it feels like it was only yesterday that you were so in love, and now you can’t believe that it’s over. - grief and separationYour whole world revolved around the love that you shared, and for that to be taken away is a pain unlike any other.

Surely your ex feels that this can still be fixed, right? Even though at the back of your mind you knew all along that it would never work, and you would still break up with him, you will still call and text and try to fix your relationship. You spend your hours hoping to bring back the joy that you felt when you were together.


All those months and years you spent together keep flashing up in your mind. You remember the fights and misunderstanding that you solved together. In the end, all was well. You would fight occasionally, but at the end of the day, you would make up, because both of you realize that the love that you have is always worth fighting for.

So you try and patch things up; you try to forget whatever led to your breakup. It doesn’t matter to you now whether it was your fault or his; you just know that you want to fix things and go back to the beginning. You are willing to swallow your pride and give everything for you to get back together again.

But you know it will never be the same again as you work through your grief and separation. And you know that both of you decided for the relationship to end because it was all for the best. So when you get to this point in your grief, remember that you can’t force someone to change their mind and in reality, your relationship might still end up being broken.

About the author

Christina Fitzgerald