Relationships

Going Through the Stages of Grief After a Breakup

Anger

Realizing that you won’t be able to take it back is frustrating. In overcoming heartbreak, and working through grief and separation, we go through a mix of emotions. It can sometimes become hard to distinguish one from the other.

truetoherself.com - grief and separationThe confusion this brings, and the realizations about your current state in that you know that you have to go through it, can make you feel a little bitter. You may not be able to recognize it at first, but when you feel like you have to do something, anything, to alter your situation, with fervent urgency, then you might be experiencing anger. It slithers through your system and, depending on how well you handle it, it can cloud your better judgment.

Most people, regardless of emotional maturity and health, can lose their ability to think logically and act within reason when anger takes over their minds. It can be such an effective enabler in certain situations, but when it comes to personal relationships, anger is never the answer.

Depression

When you lose the fire of anger, sadness starts to creep in and you feel yourself slowly spiral into a dark, hollow void. As the last traces of the embers die, a numbing coldness can start to form inside your chest. It can seem like it is echoless and empty.

truetoherself.com - grief and separation

You can find that you want nothing to do with anyone or anything. Depression can show through a variety of symptoms such as; overeating or loss of appetite, insomnia or oversleeping, having a constant feeling of wanting to cry, an increase in the dependency on alcohol or drugs, and general lack of will. These feelings can come up when you are working through the stages of grief and separation.

Depression can make you believe that there is no hope left;  that things won’t be any better than the current situation you are facing. This can greatly discourage you and push you into further depths of misery. It is notably the worst stage of grief that one can go through.

When this happens, remind yourself that better things are coming. Take one step at a time in your recovery and try to be gentle to yourself. Remember that you deserve better things and there are so many good things to look forward to.

Acceptance

Some people believe that being able to accept a situation means that you have completely moved on from whatever has hurt you, therefore freeing yourself from negative feelings. While this may be true to a certain degree, you will still feel a kind of dull ache from time to time.

It is a bittersweet ordeal as you reach the stage of acceptance while working through grief and separation. It’s not going to be perfect. There will be times when you will remember all the good and the bad. But there is healing and growth once you fully accept that there is no going back. Accepting that it is finally time to move on with life and let go of what you once had, no matter how beautiful or ugly it might have been, is a healthier option than brooding over it.

Being able to recognize the stages of grief can help you in overcoming heartbreak. These are not “stages” that you have to strictly go through. There’s no shortcut in healing. It takes time to recover from grief and separation, but, once you are able to reach the stage of Acceptance, you will have grown stronger. With the knowledge and the confidence that you can do things better next time, you will become a stronger version of you.

About the author

Christina Fitzgerald