Seperation

Moving On With Your Life; How to Get Through a Heartbreak

You’ve encountered something you never thought you would need to work through, and now you need to know how to get through a heartbreak. Who could have seen this coming? You have spent your adult life as a wife and mother. You married your high school sweetheart, and you both swore you would be together forever. Things haven’t felt right for the past year, but you didn’t think it was anything more than job stress, and your growing family.

The kids are old enough now to not need sitters, and you have been asking about going out for a date night; dinner and dancing, drinks at that cute new bar in town. But all you seem to get are the usual excuses. He has been “too tired” from working long hours, and he has been putting in a lot of overtime lately. You brush it off and wait for things to improve.

You have kept in shape, and he tells you that he still finds you attractive. It is hard to believe his words when he hasn’t paid any attention to you for many months. Life goes on and the gap just seems to get wider and wider between you. You resign yourself to accepting that this is how it is going to be until life settles down again.

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One day, he simply leaves for work, just like every other day. He is gone past his usual time of returning home, even with the normal run of overtime hours. You finally tire of waiting up for him and go to bed.

He is still not home in the morning. You call the office, and his cell phone, but the secretary also says he isn’t there, and the cell phone goes through to voicemail. After a few days, you get a letter in the mail saying he isn’t coming home, and that he has found someone else, and has moved in with him!

You now have to learn how to get through a heartbreak and move on with your life.

How to Get Through a Separation

The theme of the day is confusion and a stunning effect of disbelief with what has happened. You have to tell the kids, who are almost adults now that their father has decided to leave and you have no idea of where he is, but he is alive.

It seems like you will not be able to get through a heartbreak and continue life as usual. There are plenty of things you can do to help yourself and your kids to survive a separation.

  • You are not alone! It may feel this way because you have been abandoned by the on the person you have counted on for emotional stability for so long. Talk to your friends, they can be a great support system in helping you to survive a separation.
  • Join a group if there is one where you live or an online support group for the newly separated. Talking anonymously, like in an online setting, can help you to open up and say what is on your mind without feeling like you will get rebuffed for your feelings. This can go a long way in learning how to get through a heartbreak and move on.
  • Get counseling for yourself and the kids to help you all handle and understand what has happened.
  • Talk to your kids, even young adults will have questions and need to know that they were not at fault. Many can feel this way, so it is good to get it out in the open when figuring out how to get through a heartbreak.
  • For a while, it will feel like everything is falling apart, but it will get better for all of you. There are many ways to survive a separation and be stronger than before!
  • Consult with a lawyer who specializes in separations and divorce to protect your rights, and your children, as well as your possessions if there was no prenuptial agreement. It may sound premature, but, it is a needed appointment. This is a good start on your road to surviving a separation and protecting yourself.

The confusion and self-blame may continue for a while, even with plenty of support. It is human nature to blame oneself for something that another person has started. It is not a simple thing to learn how to get through a heartbreak, but it is not impossible!

Do things with your kids, and go out with your friends to keep your mind occupied. If your kids are involved in after-school activities, do what you can to support them.

About the author

Jaye Bass