Relationships

Long Distance Relationship – How To Get It To Work

truetoherself.com - long distance relationshipYou may know someone who has been in a long distance relationship and had either positive or negative experience. Regardless of what they have encountered, you are able to make decisions for yourself and steer the course of events appropriate to your needs.

Through this article, I will share with you the ups and downs I have experienced in a complicated relationship that had a very obvious degree of long distance to it.

What to be aware of

When a relationship has a dimension of distance introduced that was not there before it can place significant stress on both of you. The distance may be a lot less than being in separate countries or continents; it may only be a three-hour drive to another State. The fact remains that what you are accustomed to in your relationship will shift under these conditions.

To give you some perspective, my partner had transitioned into working in mining for a few years, not long after we met. This meant he was away from home, thousands of kilometers away, in remote locations for two or more weeks straight. Even with both of us being experienced in this type of relationship, and a new couple, there were still some difficulties.

Communication is of the highest importance for your relationship to remain strong and grow stronger when long distance is introduced.

We need to be mindful that this is a two-way street, and both of you are very likely to experience a difficult time emotionally. But if you keep these points in mind you will find the transition easier, and your relationship will deepen.

Types of communication

There are many ways to communicate with technology being so accessible. Skype, FaceTime, Zoom, and Facebook Messenger make communication over the Internet so easy. Video is definitely a great way to keep in meaningful touch.

Text and voice apps like Whatsapp and Viber are also great alternatives. An occasional message sent spontaneously can be a lovely surprise, but there is a very real danger here also.

If this is done too frequently it can lose its luster and become tedious for the other person. A barrage of text messages that increase in intensity as they go on it’s only destructive in the end.

Avoid the temptation to keep sending messages when there has been no reply. You may have time on your hands and feel lonely or disconnected, that’s OK, that’s normal.

Your partner may be preoccupied at the time with legitimate demands. Keep in mind that work cannot be shirked without very real consequences, and your partner may be trying to deal with things like this that you are unaware of. No reply does not mean he’s cheating on you, ignoring you, or not thinking of you. It can simply mean that he’s busy.

However, if you do have a valid reason to believe something is not right then you need to call it out rather than stress about it.

When using voice apps that allow you to leave a message, don’t do the emotional equivalent of drunk dialing. A recorded message once sent cannot be recalled, no matter how much you want to take it back. You are a woman of intelligence and integrity, so you’re not going to let that happen.

About the author

Kim Gronno