Relationships

Pseudo Relationship Status Update

In our lives today where social networking sites play such a big part in our collective psyche, there is an interesting status update which is expected to be a more obvious part of your relationship options. Currently, we have the standards that we all understand;

  • Single
  • In a Relationship
  • Engaged
  • Married

Then things start to take a turn for the complicated, iterally; It’s Complicated. And if that wasn’t foggy enough we have an even more vague option to choose; In a Pseudo Relationship.

What could that possibly mean? The best description we could find is that it apparently means that for those involved in the relationship that they are not quite lovers, but they are a bit more than just friends.

And I thought that it’s complicated was complicated enough already. Is it possible to have a foot in both camps? Or is there a specific point at which the relationship transitions from pseudo to complicated? Oh well,  you live and learn, I guess.  Anyway, let’s start by having a look at what pseudo means.

Pseudo means that something is not completely real or genuine. Therefore, by being in a pseudo relationship this would mean that you are in a sort-of-kinda-maybe relationship but not in a real relationship.

This type of relationship may be very different for some compared to others. This may depend largely on what was agreed to or what both parties mutually, in some cases almost psychically, understood without any real conversation.

In a pseudo relationship, it appears that there’s no courtship to speak of. Some would go so far as to say that there is very little to confirm that there is a relationship beyond the actions and gestures observed.

It’s confusing for those looking in on the world of the pseudo relationship, so it would be expected to be confusing for at least one of the parties to the relationship also (one would expect). It looks something like this; he is not your boyfriend and you’re certainly not his girlfriend, but to the outside world it all looks very much like you’re in a relationship. And there you have it; the pseudo relationship

Some people, it seems, would prefer to be in a situation of this kind than nothing at all. What harm could that do? But then again, there are very likely to be disadvantages with this type of dynamic.  First, you’re unlikely to be able to command any type of commitment from the other person.  As this is essentially a fake relationship, your part in each other’s lives will most likely remain unclear and lack certainty.

There really isn’t anything tangible to hold on to, even if you’re ready to take the relationship to the next level, the other person may not be prepared to accommodate because in their eyes you aren’t really together.

While pseudo can mean fake, the reality is that your emotions are not fake.  Without wanting to sound like I’m raining on your parade, it really is just a matter of time before one of you will get hurt. And that too is very real. Finally, there is a very likely chance you’ll be miserable, and that’s not what you want.

If the relationship you’re in didn’t start so to speak, then how can you go about ending it? It is very likely that you will find yourself consumed with worry and frustration about where things are at and what may happen next, all the while quite possibly wishing that someday it will actually be real.

As far as I see it, being in a pseudo relationship can be nothing more than unhealthy. The principles of this kind of relationship, if you could say there are principles to begin with, revolve around being selfish and having very little regard for what it means to be in a genuine loving relationship. Yes, it may make some people temporarily happy, but that’s it, little more than temporary. Well, despite my views on this, it is still proving to be a trend.

The question now is “Are you in?”

About the author

Kim Gronno