Trying to survive a heartbreak is an indescribably painful experience. The countless sleepless nights spent staring at the ceiling while listening to sad songs as you cry silent tears. Or the overwhelming desire to escape responsibilities and spend the day wallowing at your sorry state.
These are some of the things that one goes through because of heartbreak. It’s a painful ordeal to go through, but once you get over it and move on from it, you will feel an immense relief. There is a renewing, or freshness in life on the other side of this, as you survive a heartbreak which allows you to rediscover, or even reinvent yourself.
Heartbreaks are never easy. But it’s definitely something that is not impossible to conquer, as millions of people all throughout history will tell you that. Let the endless stream of songs, poems, stories and films tell you that, yes, at the end of each storm, the sun will always rise and a new day will begin.
Forgive Yourself and Survive a Heartbreak
If you find that the cause of the heartbreak comes from something you had control of; something you said or didn’t say, or something you did or didn’t do, then you may find that you begin to blame yourself. This is not uncommon, but it is something that you need to stop yourself from doing, as it will not serve you, and will only perpetuate the cycle of regret and self-doubt. We’ll have some posts about this topic in another series very soon.
First and foremost, the most constructive thing you could do is to forgive yourself. This can seem like it will be the most difficult thing that you need to do. Regardless of what you are going through, accepting yourself, and the fact that you make mistakes, can really change the way you see things. Not only will it make you feel more in control of your emotions, it will make it easier for you to deal with any subsequent situations that come your way. As the famous saying goes; “you are your worst enemy.”
Holding a grudge against yourself, and thinking of things that can potentially hurt yourself, will make it harder for you to move on from your past. Accepting that things happened the way they did, and the consequences which followed thereafter can help you overcome your greatest hurdle: forgiving yourself and accepting the fact that you are human and will at times make mistakes.
Take Things Slowly
This is something that is hard to do these days. In this day and age, being fast-paced is considered the norm. Everything in our microwave society is “instant” these days. No more waiting for pictures to be developed from film; now that you can upload them straight from your camera. No more waiting in line in at the grocery store; now you can place orders to buy your groceries through apps and have them delivered to you. The danger in this is that it makes one associate “waiting” as a thing of the past.
Unfortunately, living in a fast-paced society will not make things any less difficult in terms of moving on. This will be one of those instances where urgency and speed can’t be of any help. You have to take things slowly, emotional wounds require time to heal, just like physical wounds. There are some things that only time can give an answer to. Know that your mind and body need time to recuperate on your journey to survive a heartbreak.
Don’t Hesitate to Ask for Help
When we would get injured as kids, it would always seem like we were going through the most excruciating pain in the world. Our first reaction was to cry for help, plead for someone to hold us, nurse our little scratches and bruises, and be gentle with the places that hurt.
It is true that sometimes a thing as simple as the attention of someone else can make everything feel better. Heartbreaks can make us feel lonely because of the sudden loss of the person that we love, regardless of who did the breaking up. Seeking the compassionate company of friends and family during these difficult times will not only help you move on, it would also remind you that they care about you and that you are not alone.
If you are in a position where you do not have any family or friends nearby, reach out to a support network or service in your area. It is much healthier to be able to talk and connect than to not do so. If you need someone to talk with, we would also be happy to hear from you as you take the steps you need to in order to survive a heartbreak and move on.
There are even support groups focusing on different struggles that people have – including heartbreak. These support groups can definitely help you in making you feel that you are not alone and that there are people who are also trying to get through a separation.