Dating

What Does A Genuinely Attentive Guy Actually Look Like?

genuinely attentive guyThey are real, yes, there are such things as genuinely attentive guys, they are not unicorns. You may have encountered this type of guy and not really seen him for who he is. In the past, I had on one unfortunate occasion tarred such a guy with the ‘seems to pay too much attention to me and feels a little stalker creepy’ brush. Big mistake on my part as I completely misread both him and the situation.

I decided, with not that much by the way of being informed or on the money, to give him a bit of a wide berth. Instead, I turned my attention to a guy I thought was much more appealing, yes he was very cute, and surface level charming.

What I didn’t know was the true personality of both of these guys in comparison to each other. My man started off with all the right things; flowers, dinners out, wine, lovely dates and he showered me with affection. That didn’t last long as his true nature began to surface after about four months.

Little by little his attention shifted away from me. He couldn’t recall specific important things, he forgot intimate secrets I shafted with him, and generally seemed to grow more and more distant in the last few weeks. The last straw was when he struggled to remember my name when introducing me to a friend of his. I was crushed, to be honest, and from that point on I knew it was the end for us.

The other guy, the one I mentioned earlier who I misread, had begun dating a friend of mine. I’d like to state that they didn’t start dating through me, it was completely random. She caught up with me and over a few wines we were taking and I got to learn more about her man; the guy I gave a wide berth to. This is what I found out.

Genuinely attentive guys are more sincere than most guys

Although they may seem a bit clingy or too focused on you, a genuinely attentive guy is just being himself. More often than not he’s thinking and observing the world around him. He may be more aware of, or focused on you in broad social settings, like parties, than some other guys you’ve known,  who may be more interested in chatting up another woman.  Unlike these types of guys who seem to be driven by the thrill of the chase, genuinely attentive guys are more likely to fetch you a top up and want to talk with your friends than try to hit on them.

Genuinely attentive guys are particularly good listeners

There’s nothing quite as bad as dating a guy who seems to be smitten by the sound of his own voice. When you can’t get a word in edgeways, or it seems that he always cuts you off in conversation, you may well be dealing with a self-absorbed jerk. Rest assured that you will not encounter this situation if you date a genuinely attentive guy.  Instead of speaking so much, he’ll be listening to your every word while paying more than surface attention to you. Being such a great listener he will truly know you much better than his counterpart; the self-absorbed jerk. Having this degree of knowledge will enable him to be present in the relationship with you.

About the author

Louise Stringger